Eddie was the perfect mixture of black and white, with the cutest button nose, and he was all mine. Despite myself, I let myself get used to sharing a bed with someone warm. I loved him wholeheartedly, but it didn’t last. When someone you love leaves you, you start to question everything you might have done wrong. Did I not pay enough attention? Were there not enough cuddles or special treats? It was clear after a while that he was seeing someone else, that some other woman was giving him meals and keeping him warm at night. It hurt me deeply, but I had to convince myself that she needed him more than me. I hoped she was making him happy.
I started noticing him coming to my house in a really good mood and looking slightly smug. He was slowly putting on weight and had a healthy glow about him. Something had changed, and he would visit less and less, until one day he stopped coming round altogether. A few weeks passed with still no visit and I realised he wasn’t coming back. It hit me hard. I rang my mother in tears, telling her,
“He’s left me. He’s really gone.”
A few months had passed, I still thought about Eddie every day. At first I wanted to see him again, but it would just be too painful. The day which I had been dreading for so long was upon me. Walking home from school, I turned into my road and there he was, right in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart pounding. If I didn’t move, perhaps he wouldn’t see me. I couldn’t help but stare down the road at him. Typical, I was going through all this mental torment and he was acting as if nothing had ever happened, sitting on the pavement, not a care in the world, one leg extended in the air, casually licking his arse and purring.
Words and Photography by Loo Loo Rose
Originally published in ‘ROUGH UK Magazine’